Dear Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl,

Seventeen more days until your due date!  Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you.  Late pregnancy is certainly a test in patience.  We know you will arrive sometime in the next month, but never before in my life has a month stretched out so long in front of me, not even the month before I married your daddy!  I guess that's because you are keeping your birthday a surprise.  You might be here early, and you might keep us waiting the whole month.  I can't say I would blame you--you are safe, warm, and cozy where you are right now.  Why would you want to leave??

You still move around a lot, but your movements are not quite as vigorous these days.  I think you are running out of space and can't kick me quite as hard!  We still absolutely love feeling you move and explore your little world.  Over the past two days you have dropped a little bit, and your little feet can't reach under my ribs anymore.  Quite happy news for me!  You have mama getting up very often at night, though--that must be the trade-off for my relieved ribs. I think you are slowly getting ready to make your appearance, as I've been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on.  

We are ready for you.  

We have taken birth classes, a breastfeeding class, and an infant CPR class, found a pediatrician, finished your nursery, washed your linens and clothes, stocked your changing table with diapers and wipes, set up your pack n play, gotten our flu shots, installed your car seat and gotten it double-checked, written a birth plan, and packed our hospital bags.

We are NOT ready for you.

We want to be the very best parents we can possibly be for you, precious girl.  We are nervous that we are going to mess up, that we won't know how to take care of you.  You are going to be completely dependent on us and we feel the weight of that responsibility.  We know there are going to be times when you cry, and we won't know how to help you.  That scares us.  We know you might get sick and we won't know what to do.  That scares us too.  And then as we look ahead, we know that we are responsible for raising you--teaching you, praying for you, disciplining you, making decisions for you, then helping you make your own decisions and way in life...lots of hard things might come.  All of this...that really scares us.  

We are sinners.  We will surely fail you.

How can we possibly guide you through life, from tiny newborn until you are an adult, until you sit where I sit, writing a letter to your own unborn child?

By ourselves, we can't.  In everything, we are dependent on the grace of God.  We will look towards Jesus; we really are not capable of raising you without His help, his daily working of grace in our lives, his ever-present love and forgiveness.  We are broken sinners, and you, sweet girl, are a broken sinner.  But Jesus loves you just like He loves Daddy and me.  We pray that you will love Him too.  We pray that God will use us as His tools in your life, despite all of our shortcomings and failings.     

By the grace of God, we will ALWAYS be ready for you.  

Ready for you to cry.  Ready for you to come to us with a hurt knee or hurt feelings.  Ready for you to challenge us as you grow.  Ready to love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives.

Ready for you to run to us.  

We will pick you up, and together as a family we will run towards the throne of grace and mercy.

We love you, baby girl!  And if you wanted to meet us sometime soon, well, that would be perfectly fine with us.  :)

Love,

Mama