Dear Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl,

Seventeen more days until your due date!  Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you.  Late pregnancy is certainly a test in patience.  We know you will arrive sometime in the next month, but never before in my life has a month stretched out so long in front of me, not even the month before I married your daddy!  I guess that's because you are keeping your birthday a surprise.  You might be here early, and you might keep us waiting the whole month.  I can't say I would blame you--you are safe, warm, and cozy where you are right now.  Why would you want to leave??

You still move around a lot, but your movements are not quite as vigorous these days.  I think you are running out of space and can't kick me quite as hard!  We still absolutely love feeling you move and explore your little world.  Over the past two days you have dropped a little bit, and your little feet can't reach under my ribs anymore.  Quite happy news for me!  You have mama getting up very often at night, though--that must be the trade-off for my relieved ribs. I think you are slowly getting ready to make your appearance, as I've been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on.  

We are ready for you.  

We have taken birth classes, a breastfeeding class, and an infant CPR class, found a pediatrician, finished your nursery, washed your linens and clothes, stocked your changing table with diapers and wipes, set up your pack n play, gotten our flu shots, installed your car seat and gotten it double-checked, written a birth plan, and packed our hospital bags.

We are NOT ready for you.

We want to be the very best parents we can possibly be for you, precious girl.  We are nervous that we are going to mess up, that we won't know how to take care of you.  You are going to be completely dependent on us and we feel the weight of that responsibility.  We know there are going to be times when you cry, and we won't know how to help you.  That scares us.  We know you might get sick and we won't know what to do.  That scares us too.  And then as we look ahead, we know that we are responsible for raising you--teaching you, praying for you, disciplining you, making decisions for you, then helping you make your own decisions and way in life...lots of hard things might come.  All of this...that really scares us.  

We are sinners.  We will surely fail you.

How can we possibly guide you through life, from tiny newborn until you are an adult, until you sit where I sit, writing a letter to your own unborn child?

By ourselves, we can't.  In everything, we are dependent on the grace of God.  We will look towards Jesus; we really are not capable of raising you without His help, his daily working of grace in our lives, his ever-present love and forgiveness.  We are broken sinners, and you, sweet girl, are a broken sinner.  But Jesus loves you just like He loves Daddy and me.  We pray that you will love Him too.  We pray that God will use us as His tools in your life, despite all of our shortcomings and failings.     

By the grace of God, we will ALWAYS be ready for you.  

Ready for you to cry.  Ready for you to come to us with a hurt knee or hurt feelings.  Ready for you to challenge us as you grow.  Ready to love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives.

Ready for you to run to us.  

We will pick you up, and together as a family we will run towards the throne of grace and mercy.

We love you, baby girl!  And if you wanted to meet us sometime soon, well, that would be perfectly fine with us.  :)

Love,

Mama

Dear Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl,

Today I am 30 weeks and 2 days pregnant with you.  We are counting down daily to your due date--68 days to go!  Of course, I think you will be late, so we probably have many more than 68 days until your arrival.  Your daddy and I absolutely can't wait to meet you.  To us it feels like absolutely forever until you will be here--and then at the same time, we also have plenty to do to occupy us in the meantime! 

Lately we have been getting your nursery ready and also doing some things around the house.  We know you will keep us pretty busy for a while, so we are trying to do as much as we can before you get here.  I love working on your nursery, and I must admit that occasionally before bedtime I sit in your room and daydream about you.  

We have also been talking about your name a lot, because I am ready to have it 100% settled!  We have been going back and forth on two middle names for a few months now, but we picked out your first name (ALMOST for sure) a while ago.  We still might change our minds again, but I THINK you have an official name now.  We hope you love your name as much as we do!

Some day you might want to know what it was like for me to be pregnant with you.  Just in case, here are a few things for you to know:

--You are our little miracle baby.  Daddy never lets me forget that you are the timely answer to prayer after we got some bad news from Mama's doctor.  We thank God for you!

--Lots of people have been praying for you from the VERY beginning, and they will keep praying for you until you are born and as you grow!

--When I heard your heartbeat for the first time at your 9-week ultrasound, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

--You have "eaten" lots and lots of scrambled egg sandwiches and fruit smoothies, especially in the first 16 weeks!  You made it very difficult for me to cook and eat for a while, so Daddy took over in the kitchen. He slipped lots of butter into my food (and ice cream into smoothies) to help you grow.

--If you end up not liking vegetables, well then, it started early.  I had a hard time eating vegetables during your first 4 months and it's still not always easy.

--I couldn't wait until you gave me a big bump.  I wanted the whole world to know about you!  Unfortunately it took longer than I thought it would.

--I felt you move for the first time at about 16 weeks, while we were visiting Grandpa and Grandma in Illinois.  It took me some time to know for sure that the little flutters I was feeling were definitely you!  Daddy felt you move 2 weeks later--you gave him a huge somersault, the biggest I had felt up to that point.  We both jumped!  He was completely in awe of you.  

--Now you move all the time.  Your favorite positions result in either kicking my bladder or kicking under my ribs.  You also get the hiccups frequently--the other night you were hiccuping quite vigorously, enough to keep me awake.  Daddy and I both love feeling you move.  Tonight he very gently pressed my belly and you kicked back at him!

--If you turn out to be a little musician, it wouldn't be surprising considering how much violin-playing you have already heard!  Or maybe you will be an athlete.  If so, it will certainly be in a summer sport as you have already helped cheer on the USA in the Summer Olympics!

--Even though you aren't here yet, you are already teaching me so much about what it means to be a mama.  I have worried a lot about you, and I am learning to pray more and relax in your Heavenly Father's care for you.  

Your daddy and I are completely in love with you already, but we know that our love is only a shadow of how much your Heavenly Father loves you.  We pray that you will trust Him very early in your life!

Love,

Mama